Xeinfeld: Lost In Translation

You've crash-landed on a pale blue dot named Terra, or as the Terrans like to call it: "Planet Earth". You have taken on the guise of a Terran comedian to hide out until The Mothership arrives for extraction.

All was going well, that is until your OMNI-TRANSLATOR unit began malfunctioning. Luckily, you still have a primitive device called a "book" to translate your native tongue to the Terran languages.

You will need to be quick with your translations, lest the Terrans discover what you truly are! Can you make it through a full "stand-up set" before you are exposed?